The calm of heaven break
by ChipsPlease
Summary: He is good at pleasing his parents, good at being cunning and subtle, good at being a Black. Good at lying to himself too, and constantly wondering why his brother is happier. Regulus Black's years at Hogwarts until his final descent.
1. nature's first green is gold

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and the title for the chapter and the _title _title are both from Robert Frost poems (yes I am a shameless quote stealer).**

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_The _**calm **_of _**heaven **break

**-**

**i. nature's first green is gold**

-

"Regulus, remember to take heed to what your cousin Narcissa says. She is a Slytherin and in her seventh year, she knows what is best for you. I'm sure that she'll introduce you to some proper friends that you can make; I heard that one of the Rosier's is going to be in your year and I would strongly advise you to-"

Regulus leans his head against the car (foul muggle devices, his mother calls them but that didn't stop her from using them when convenient) window and half-listens to his mother's words. On his other side sits his brother, breathing on the window and trying to make faces in the fog. Or maybe they are cuss words; it's somewhat hard to tell. Not that he knows much about cuss words, to be honest, despite Bella's infamous profanity habits.

"Regulus, you are listening aren't you?" His mother's voice is piercing and shrill, a common Black trait. _After all, _he thinks, _all the better to have people hear you with, my dear._

"Yes mother," he mumbles, sounding a bit like his brother. His mother notices that too.

"Excuse me?" she says, a now threatening note in her tone.

"Yes mother," he repeats again, but loudly and without sarcasm. He half expects his brother to mock him, but Sirius doesn't.

It had been that way for the entire summer or at least since the argument over the Andromeda incident. His mother would give Sirius the cold shoulder while simultaneously addressing not so subtle snides to him through her 'advice' to Regulus. Sirius, in turn, would ignore everyone in the family including him.

It was enough to make anyone go mad.

"Oh, and Regulus do make sure you enter Slytherin. How shameful it would be to have son in a different house, I do not know what I would do with you if that happened."

Sirius pretends not to notice her words, but Regulus swears that he sees frown lines appear.

"I'm sure I'll make it into Slytherin, mother." He can see his mother smile from the rear view window.

It somewhat sickens him.

-

The year before, Regulus had believed that platform 9 and 3/4 was a wonderful and magical thing. He had waved jealously at Sirius, who was about to embark on his first year at Hogwarts, as the train sped along soon leaving Regulus behind.

It was one of the few times when he hated being the youngest.

But now facing the multitude of people and owls and cats and trunks and hugs and kisses and tearful goodbyes, he is suddenly overcome with fear. He is not meant for these loud noises and confusion- _but you've handled Mother's screams and Sirius' and Andromeda's betrayal so well, haven't you- _and Hogwarts doesn't seem quite so grand without his brother's support at his side.

_(I know Mum and Dad are angry at my being sorted into Gryffindor, but they can just bugger off. It's so liberating here at Hogwarts, Reg, I feel like I can be my own self and I've made such good friends. Just you wait until you come next year, it'll be great...)_

He never showed his mother any of the letters he received from Sirius. He isn't entirely sure why.

Sirius has already run off to join his Gryffindor friends (blood traitors and mudbloods, no doubt) and it is just Regulus and his mother. He is sure that some farewell of some sort is in order here, but he doesn't know what to say. So he stares at his shoes and fidgets uncomfortably.

"Ah, here comes Narcissa. About time I would say, but I'm not one to criticize."

Regulus springs his head up, and can see Cissy clearly from her throng of friends. He never liked her much- _always liked Andy_ _the best out of the cousins _(he shoves the thought quickly out of his head)- she is a bit of a vain priss who talks to him as if he was five. Still, he appreciates seeing a familiar face even if her smile comes out fake as she approaches them.

"Hello Aunt Walburga, I'm so sorry that I made you wait. I just got distracted by a couple of friends; I trust you know how that is." The words were charming enough, but there was a distinct haughtiness to the way Cissy said them. It was what made her stand out in the crowd.

"No matter at all," his mother is also proficient at the fake smiles, "I'm just grateful that you offered to help Regulus out. After all, it would be horrible if he were to make the wrong choices."

"No doubt. Now come along Reggie, I know some first years from _good _families that I would be only too happy to introduce you to."

He forgets to wave to his mother, as Cissy drags him by the hand. The funny thing is he is almost grateful that he doesn't have to.

-

They are all taller than him. Octavius Rosier, Ralph Wilkes, and Julius Avery are absolute giants. Of course there is the other option that he is just short, but Bella has complained enough about his scrawniness for him to not feel the need to self-deprecate himself as well. However they don't seem to notice or if they do they don't show it.

"Reggie, these are the brothers of some good friends of mine. I'm sure that they'll promise to be excellent companions," Cissy says before joining her friends in another compartment.

The ensuing silence is horrifically awkward.

"Well… How do you guys like Quiditch?" Ralph finally asks.

The conversation takes up the entire train ride.

-

Hogwarts looms ahead, bright and impenetrable from the little boats. The nervous feeling Regulus had at the train station returns and he is sorely tempted to turn right around and give up this whole Hogwarts nonsense. He looks at Julius, Ralph, and Tavius (_pain of a name to have- _he had said- _but I absolutely refuse to be called Tavi, or worse Oct. _They all laughed of course) but their faces betray no signs of anxiety, only impressed excitement. Regulus tries to copy their expressions, and sincerely hopes that he doesn't end up looking constipated.

"I'm sure to enter Slytherin; my entire family has been there. How embarrassing it would be to enter another house-"Ralph sends Julius a not so subtle look, and he rapidly shuts up.

Apparently Sirius' sorting had passed through the grape vine. Mother would not be pleased.

"I think that I would leave Hogwarts and declare myself a squib if that was to happen. It would be a disgrace to not be in Slytherin, not to mention all those filthy mudbloods in the other houses." Regulus tries to copy his mother's proud tone, but he thinks he just comes off being pretentious.

The other boys laugh though, albeit Ralph's seems kind of strained and nervous.

"Hear, hear!" Tavius cries, his voice rich with mirth. Regulus smiles, and inwardly thanks Cissy for introducing him to such good friends.

Even if he sometimes feels like he is lying through his teeth.

-

"Avery, Julius!" The sorting hat yells, its voice echoing around the Great Hall. Regulus stares in wonder at the room, far more impressive than anything he had ever seen. Not that he would ever tell his mother that. She would be horribly insulted.

"Slytherin!" The hat booms and Regulus claps along with the Slytherin table. Julius looks considerably happy, no, _confident_ of himself as he joins the rest of the table.

Regulus gets nervous again.

He barely registers the other names, except for a Baer, Jane who gets sorted into Gryffindor. He watches Sirius clap at the Gryffindor table, and for a moment he looks at Regulus with a small smile but he turns away the next second.

"Black, Regulus!"

He feels like he is going through a death march as he slowly trudges his way up to the stool. The entire hall seems to have gone dead silent (_don't be silly- _a small voice says- _you're just being paranoid)_ and he starts to wish that they would all just turn around or something. He can't bear their stares.

The stool is tall for him, he can hear an imaginary Bella laughing at his struggle to get up from, and waits for McGonagall to put the hat on his head. Instantly everything becomes a comforting darkness.

"_A Black, eh?" _Its voice says, intruding and disturbingly personal, _"Your brother caused quite an uproar with his sorting last year. But you, you are definitely more of a Slytherin. Cunning, not ambitious yet but that comes with time. Yes, yes" _

And then its voice amplifies itself again, yelling "Slytherin!"

The Slytherin table claps and makes a good deal of noise. Regulus smiles (_fake, like Cissy and mother) _and tries to copy Julius' confidant walk to the Slytherin table.

He doesn't look over at the Gryffindor table.

-

Ralph and Tavius are also sorted into Slytherin. No surprise of course. Cissy shows Regulus off to all her friends. _Probably trying to redeem the Black name, _a cynical voice in his head says and he promptly steps on it. But the feeling remains.

That night he has trouble going to sleep. He blames it on Tavius' snores.

He is getting good at lying to himself.

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**A/N: Well, I've only written oneshots and such so I hope I can do a good job with a multi-chapter story. I also hope that I made Regulus realistic... Er, as realistic as a fictional wizard can be, of course. I would love to hear any constructive criticism, but really any reviews at all make me feel very warm and fuzzy inside :)**


	2. good fences make good neighbors

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, and the chapter title is from a Robert Frost poem. _Again._** **I need to get more original.**

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_The _**calm **_of _**heaven **break

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**ii. he says again, "good fences make good neighbors"**

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Julius is remarkably good at getting them all lost.

"But I swear," He cries, "That my brother told me that this was a short cut to the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom."

"I'm afraid that this is what we call a brotherly joke," Tavius says good-naturedly, shaking his head and making his blonde curls even more unruly.

"_I'm_ afraid that this is what we call a gullible moron at work." Regulus, on the other hand, does not appreciate arriving late to all his classes. Neither did Ms. McGonagall.

Julius glares at him, and Ralph and Tavius give off nervous laughs.

"It's nothing to get worried over, I mean I'm sure that our Defense teacher will understand and-"Ralph begins.

"Oh look, Peeves!" Tavius interrupts, with a misplaced delight.

Regulus groans.

-

They finally come straggling into class covered in water and things that Regulus really would rather not have specified.

The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, a rather shriveled up old witch named Mrs. Ryers, doesn't notice though, and keeps on plowing through her lesson. Unfortunately there aren't enough free seats for them to sit all together, so Tavius and Julius make a quick beeline to the empty seat next to the pretty and Slytherin Emilia Zabini. After a vicious game of rock, paper, scissors Tavius wins and Julius reluctantly goes to sit next to the brooding Barty Crouch, Jr.

Mrs. Ryers still continues with the lesson.

There are only two seats left for Regulus and Ralph, one at the Slytherin end of the classroom and one at the Gryffindor end. Ralph gives him a small smile (_like Sirius)_, shrugs his shoulder in defeat, and sacrifices himself.

Regulus is almost jealous.

-

"Well now, let's put the spell in practice! Work with your partner and try not to harm yourselves," Mrs. Ryers says with a completely oblivious smile. _Wow, she's more senile than Aunt Elladora_, Regulus thinks with a slight smirk as he turns to face his partner.

He hadn't really given her much notice when he sat next to her, and now he isn't surprised as to why. She is tiny, far smaller than him which is no easy feat. She finishes scribbling down some notes and then turns to face him, short brown hair bobbing as she does so.

"Well, I believe that it is proper to start with introductions," she says, "So I'm Ophelia Nott."

She holds her hand out for him to shake, and he is rather shocked about how big it is in proportion to the rest of her. She bites her nails too, he notices. Mother would not approve.

"Regulus Black," he replies curtly, and shakes her hand very quickly.

"Oh! So your brother is the git! Mother was furious for days, but I thought that Theodore rather deserved it. Of course, you won't tell anyone that, will you? No, I don't think you will you have a trust-worthy look about you, and… Oh dear, I'm talking too much again. Mother always said that it would be the death of me the way I prattle on, but really I think she meant that it would be the death of her. I don't think that my talking has shown any negative health affects on me, do you?"

All Regulus could do is stare. _She is barking mad_, he thinks, borrowing one of Sirius' more commonly used phrases._ What on earth did Sirius do to Theodore, anyway? _He wonders, recognizing the name as one of the sixth year Slytherin prefects.

_(And don't tell mum this, Reg, but me and James managed to get that stupid Slytherin prefect, Nott, locked up in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom for a day until someone noticed. Course, we got a huge detention and I expect a howler from his mum soon, but it was worth it. Nobody spits on Sirius Black without receiving any consequences…)_

He never asked Sirius as to why Nott spat on him.

He suddenly sees that Ophelia is looking at him curiously, and he realizes that he never answered her question. So he mumbles a bit about how she looks perfectly healthy to him, but she still doesn't quite get rid of that peculiar expression.

-

Regulus is irritable throughout the rest of the lesson.

He isn't sure why.

Ophelia seems to notice, though, because she talks a good deal less as they start to practice. And, if Regulus is being honest with himself he would grasp that some of his annoyance had to do with her being better at the spell than he is.

Sirius always said that he was a bit of a sore loser.

-

"Promise me that you will never, ever, let me talk you guys into finding a shortcut. I think I'd die if I had to spend another lesson sitting next to Barty Crouch," Julius says, shuddering for an added effect.

Tavius laughs, and gives Julius a broad smile. Julius, in turn, glares at him.

"What? I assure you, Emilia is a right old pain. Nothing at all compared to Barty, why she doesn't even grouch or mutter things under her breath. She's almost pleasant, however horrifying that is. And it gets worse, her dad isn't some-"

"Oh shut-up, Octy," Tavius' grin falters at that for a moment, but then comes back even brighter than before, "I don't exactly want to relive that painful experience."

"Come off it, now. I think Ralph had it far worse, don't you think?" Tavius says, inquisitively turning towards Ralph.

Ralph looks a bit taken back at Tavius addressing him.

"Oh um, it could've been worse I guess. My partner, I think her name was Jane, was actually pretty smart and nice…"

Tavius and Julius look at Ralph as if he had suddenly mutated into something both startling and unseemly. Like if he were that monstrous flobberworm that Sirius 'accidently' created when he was nine, and which he had thought would look most dapper in Cissy's old tutu.

Regulus never quite got over that.

"For a Gryffindor, of course," Ralph rapidly rectifies. Tavius seems to be satisfied at that answer, but Julius retains a suspicious look in his dark eyes.

"So how was that Nott girl?" Tavius asks Regulus, changing the subject.

"She was… interesting," Regulus says, figuring that was as diplomatic a word as any to describe her.

Tavius laughs again, saying "Yeah, Emilia did say that she was odd. Still, the Nott family is real influential…"

_Good, you can make connections already_, a small voice in Regulus' head says.

It disturbs him just a little.

-

"Merlin's pants!" Regulus exclaims as he accidently runs into some student in his haste to make it to class in time. Julius, Tavius, and Ralph are behind him, having a bit more difficulty wrangling their way through the crowds.

The student turns around, looking very annoyed and then very surprised. Regulus looks the same.

The student is Sirius.

The two brothers look at each other awkwardly, having managed to successfully avoid each other since Regulus' sorting. Sirius seems to be on the verge of saying something, but can't quite bring himself to do it.

"I'm so-"Sirius finally begins, but a voice calling his name interrupts him. He looks at Regulus for a moment, his expression both soft and sad, and then runs to join his friend.

Regulus stays rooted to the spot. When Tavius finally makes it there (Ralph and Julius still struggling in the multitude), breathless and panting, he immediately notices something wrong with Regulus.

"Merlin, what's eating you?"

"Oh nothing… Well, should we get a move on? Something tells me that Ralph and Julius will be stuck there for quite awhile." He attempts to smile, but he thinks that even Tavius detects something detached in it.

Regulus has no idea that Sirius is doing the same thing to his friend too.

-

At the next Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, Julius makes sure that they all arrive ridiculously early. Yet when Ophelia comes into the classroom only a couple of minutes later, she doesn't sit in any of the numerous empty tables but plops herself down in the empty seat next to Regulus.

Tavius tries to cover his chuckle, but subtlety is not his strong point. Luckily Ophelia appears not to observe that.

Regulus does, though, and gives Tavius a Julius worthy glare. He then turns to Ophelia and is about to tell her to bugger off and find her own table. In politer terms, of course.

Instead he says, "Do you know why No- Theodore spat on my brother?"

The smile she gives him is strange. He would almost call it knowing_. _

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**A/N: Well here's an update. I have to say that I'm surprised at a lot of stuff in this chapter, especially Tavius, Julius and Ralph. I don't know, I planned them out differently but I guess they rebelled. Anywho, I hope you liked this and please review and tell me what you thought! **


	3. for the wood wakes

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, neither are any of Robert Frost's poems. My imaginary pet llama is, though... I think.**

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_The _**calm **_of _**heaven **break

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**iii. for the wood wakes, and you are here for proof**

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The winter is cold. Ridiculously cold. This is saying something, coming from Regulus, who knows all too well how chilly a drafty house can get especially when father refuses to put any heating charms up. Sirius always delights in freezing his buttocks off, but he lives in extremes and such mundane things like half-way decent temperatures bore him.

Regulus sneaks a glance over at the Gryffindor table across the hall, trying to see if Sirius is rubbing his hands together like everyone else.

Of course he isn't.

They haven't spoken since the bump-in.

"Jolly good!" Tavius cries, "The owls are finally arriving!"

Regulus doesn't pay any attention, and neither do Julius and Ralph. Tavius is the only one who gets much owl post anyway, his parents seem to be convinced that Hogwarts is starving him and that a half of ton of sweets a week is the only way to keep him properly nourished. How on earth Tavius manages to remain skinny is the subject of much debate.

At the farther end of the table, Cissy too seems to be particularly pleased at the approaching mail.

_(I think Cissy is going to get married to that Malfoy git. I wish she wouldn't, Reg, he is an arrogant prick who thinks he owns the world, but I guess they love each other. I know Cissy; it would be obvious if they didn't. Still I much prefer Andy's boyfriend, even if he is muggleborn...) _

The last sentence was crossed out. Regulus never gave it much thought.

"Well, would you look at that! Somebody does love you after all, Reg," Julius' voice interrupts his thoughts and brings him to notice the envelope that some owl had dropped in his breakfast.

Regulus is surprised; he hadn't been expecting any mail. In fact, the only letter he had received since school began was a congratulatory note from his parents into being sorted into Slytherin. He double checks the name on the envelope, but unless there was some other Regulus A. Black that was a first year in Slytherin, it was definitely meant for him. He opens it carefully and takes a great deal of time unfolding the letter.

_Regulus,_

_Would you kindly inform your brother that he is under no circumstances going to that blood traitor Potter's for Christmas. The Christmas Dinner is going to be held at our house this year, and we are going to make a good impression no matter what your brother thinks. He will attend, even if we have to drag him from his ears __and he will behave__. We wouldn't want another argument, would we?_

_I trust that you are making good friends at Hogwarts, and not committing the same mistakes as your brother._

_Ever loving,_

_Your mother_

He reads the letter twice. For a second he thinks that he is going to tear it apart, but instead he puts it into his book bag and tries to figure out when to deliver the message to Sirius.

"So, anything interesting in that letter, Reg?" Tavius asks, his mouth already full of chocolate.

"Nothing really. Just my mother telling me to come home for Christmas, we're going to have the family dinner at our house. Now are you going to share your sweets or will I have to hex you with my extensive skill?"

He ignores Ralph's questioning look (_he gets enough of that from Ophelia, anyway). _

-

"Oh there you are, Regulus, I was just explaining to Julius how Wingardium Leviosa was not actually a useless spell. I don't think I've managed to convince him yet, though, but alas! You can't win over everyone in this world, otherwise they would've banished disgusting vegetables long ago- And something's wrong."

Regulus slumps into the empty seat next to Ralph. Tavius is turning purple in his attempt not to laugh, and Julius has his face in his hands muttering or sobbing in despair, it is hard to figure out which. Julius had tried earlier to get rid of Ophelia from sitting at their Defense table, but Tavius had intervened finding her amusing. Plus, she is smart even beating Regulus who has been declared the 'nerd' of the quartet.

"What? Don't tell me I got question nine wrong, I spent half an hour on it… Or at least, Reg did," Tavius says, recovering from his laughing fit and worriedly checking over his homework.

"No, no, though I think you're missing something in question four, I'm talking about Regulus."

Regulus looks at her, confused.

"No, that can't be right. It's physically impossible for Reg to get stuff wrong on his homework. Sickening really," Tavius says distractedly, scratching his head in puzzlement over question four.

"Oh you're right, silly me, I misread what he wrote. My mistake," Ophelia says, but she keeps on looking at Regulus.

-

Regulus is only too happy to get the Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson out of the way, and would have been half-way down the hall to freedom if Ophelia's books hadn't come crashing down loudly right outside the classroom. He groans and goes to help her, Tavius clapping him on the book as he does so saying "Looks like chivalry isn't dead after all," before he goes off with Ralph and Julius.

Ophelia gives Regulus an apologetic grin as he crouches down to help her.

"I'll be honest; I dropped my books on purpose in order to talk to you. Because Regulus, something is upsetting you and however good of a liar you think you are, I know you better. So please, enlighten me on your troubles."

He doesn't look at her, and fiercely shoves one of her books into her bag.

"Nothing is the matter, and I wish you would stop pestering me. You don't know me at all."

Ophelia raises one of her eyebrows.

"It has to do with your brother, doesn't it?" She asks. He stops picking up her stuff for a moment, and bites his lip.

"My mother sent me a letter. She's going to force Sirius to go home for Christmas."

"But that's what you want isn't it?" Her voice is very soft, not much like her usual chattier tone.

He looks at her for a moment, _(her eyes are very blue)_, then gets up and runs.

-

The letter in his book bag seems to be getting heavier and heavier as the days go by. He knows he has to give it to Sirius sooner or later, but he can't help but feel like a traitor when he thinks those thoughts.

Especially when he sees how happy Sirius looks with that Potter boy and the rest of his friends.

-

"Did you see the look on Snivellus' face when I did that? If only I had a camera then, it was just that perfect!" Sirius says to the great laughter of two of his friends, and the quiet not very well restrained laughter of the other.

It's a week before Christmas break, and Regulus fingers the letter nervously having finally found Sirius. Regulus leans against the wall, and waits for Sirius and his posse to round the corner.

"Evans looked like she was about to murder you Sirius-" Potter stops mid sentence, looking startled at Regulus who had chosen that moment to pop out of the corner.

Sirius' eyes widen for a moment, but he quickly regains his composure and waves his friends off.

"I'll be with you guys in a moment, just need to take care of something."

Potter shrugs and continues walking down the hall, their short plump friend trotting after him. The one with the quiet laughter and slightly shabby clothes looks at Regulus curiously before slowly following his other friends. Sirius waits until they've gone out of sight before speaking to Regulus.

"If this is a letter from mum about Christmas, I don't want it. I'm miserable over there, and I can't take it anymore. I'll scream if I have to spend one more day in that rat-hole of a house, and they can't make me go. They can't."

Regulus stares at Sirius for a moment, and realizes that Sirius is pleading with him. It gives him a strange desire to laugh, except tears are falling down his cheeks instead.

"Reg, stop crying! You know I'm hopeless around crying people, that was always Andy's job and you're too big to cry anyway." Sirius looks so panicked that Regulus has to chuckle a bit, which makes Sirius give off that barking laugh of his.

"Sheesh, what an awful pair of brothers we make!" Sirius says, scratching his head a bit and grinning.

"Sirius, I know I'm going to sound selfish saying this, but could you please come home for Christmas. I don't want to be all alone, and nobody else sings Christmas carols quite as horrifically as you do."

Sirius' grin falters for a moment, but then comes back albeit a little more strained.

"Fine, I'll do it. But they can't make me behave, I'll make sure to be an absolute nightmare."

Regulus has to laugh at the manic gleam in Sirius' eyes. He's missed that a bit.

* * *

**A/N: Holy fast update! This chapter was originally going to be about the Christmas dinner and stuff, but then Ophelia distracted me. I'm really miserable at planning this stuff out, but it wouldn't be half as much fun to write if I was. Please review and tell me what you think!**


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